I Shit Myself.


It is surely unbelievable to smell something shitty oozing out from an adult's body. Your first thought may be "Body odor" and you are not wrong to think that... Maybe not. Who am I to tell? But I can assure you this post isn't about the body odor you think but something more. Something you'd never think will happen but did... Something pooie. Haha. I don't know if this word is in the World's dictionary yet but it is surely in mine and I love it.

Heading towards today's topic here by @galenkp which I must confess after seeing the last line got me wet in a good way. Haha.

TGIF many will scream today and I did too only that... Something happened. Geez, (In low murmur) "I shit myself".

This action occurred due to traffic congestion or maybe it was the fact that I didn't use the toilet this morning and took in lots of unhealthy junkies. But right now, I am blaming this on the traffic congestion in my country. You know the feeling you have when the heat takes over your body not because of the heat in sitting in a congested atmosphere but due to something else... Arrghh!!! Yeah, it happened to me. That something took me badly.

I could have blamed my stomach for not being nice and my anus for not being tightly enclosed in this situation which led to the embarrassment that befell me when someone said;

Ma'am, I think your perfume wore off. Do you by chance have the bottle in your bag to be reused?

Oh... Do I? You may ask... I must confess I wish I was invisible not because of her words but her high tone which made me the center of attraction to a hundred peering eyes with their hands on their nose.

I didn't close my nose or answer the very nice lady.

It was absolutely shitty to see people give me that look and I wouldn't blame them. It smells horribly bad and besides, Friday isn't meant to be a hard day but a day filled with great enthusiasm toward the weekend.

After a lot of minutes which felt like hours, I decided to stand up and save myself from people's glare and I stood up, only that... The traffic got free and the driver jerked the bus forward which landed my butt hard on the seat. I truly can't explain how I felt but I can tell you this. The poo did justice in spreading the gospel to the rest of my body. I had to thank my star the cloth I wore was well covered and the poop didn't spread out.

The moment I arrived at my destination, I made sure everyone moved out before I did. I had to walk myself into a boutique and told the kind receptionist who didn't cover her nose at all that I needed to use the bathroom and told her I need a dress and some new panties as soon as possible and it is amazing that all she did was to nod. Hmm... I think she must be mute.

When I got to the washroom, I literally washed my body clean and wore the cloth the receptionist brought over some minutes later before going out to start my shopping spree refreshed. About the shitty cloth, I had them thrashed cos Nah. I am not washing that.

Still yours truly,

Thanks for reading.

Peace be unto those who crave it and more to those who chase it away.


Sounds like a bad day!

I won't disagree a bit. It was.

I didn't actually expect anyone would answer this topic...But here you are.

Haha... My keyboard has to be blamed then. Thanks for stopping by.

Blame the keyboard. ✅🤣

Hehe. Someone or something has to be blamed and it isn't me.😂

OMG, I'm laughing my head off. I can't believe you were decided to write this topic, how cool of you 🤣

I had so much fun reading you, have a great weekend ✌️

I can't believe what my keyboard did either. Just kindly keep my secret. I am counting on you 😁😁

Hahahahaha, I will 😅

I feel so safe by your words😁😁

I think your perfume wore off...


Haha... Come on, be nice😂😂😂.

Lol. I am, it made me chuckle 😀😀

😂😂 I bet it did. Thanks for stopping by.

This isn't easy. You handle it well. Sorry for that

Hehe...sure it wasn't.. Thanks for stopping by.

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hahahaha I loved the part where you said your butt went backwards and the poop spaced in your pants. Those stories that no one wants to tell.

Hehe... No one wants to tell them and here I am an alien to human race😂😂

I don't know how terrible it would be to shit on oneself but this story right here isn't one I would want to experience.

all she did was to nod.

She was probably holding her breath because of the stench and didn't want to risk breathing in 😂

This was a good one baliego✨

Haha... You go agree with am. Truly, pooing on oneself isn't a nice experience and I hope no one experience it.

Thanks Wang.

Thanks Wang.

This sounds Chinese but okay😂

Who says you aren't. Better keep it to use when the Chinese take over your country.


A time like that isn't coming biko

Haha... We go all de alright.

Why should you think of washing that?🤣 I wouldn't even wash the one from a baby talk more of a full grown ass man🥴.

TGIF many will scream today

Of course, have you checked what's trending on Twitter in Nigeria? Did you see that in AKS we're literally partying the whole night? Oh that's a plus 🤣🤣🤣,I'm at the beach as we speak. TGIF 🤣🤣🥴💜

Haha... Omo naso my guy.

Na you be the definition on rock and roll. Enjoy de go.


Sha no forget where house de.😂😂


And right here, we have a brave soul to talk abou loading up the pants. Cannot deny I laughed my ass off (without shitting myself). Well done.

It was the Alien in me that posted this.

Haha... Undeniable fact. Thanks for a good read and for stopping by.

🤣 or was it an allien living in you that decided to leave at the wrong moment

Haha... I am not sure yet. Still trying to figure it out, or what do you think?

It could be, but at this point am too afraid to investigate the case 🤢

Haha... I see.😂😂.

What do say about parachuting ourselves out of the case then?