Virus Schmyerus, a Nonsensical Freewrite

in Freewriters10 months ago


virus schmirus
all pomp and no bite
snaggle puss ragglefoos
I want to go fight
the rulers have athletes foot
the minions have broken toes
our stars alight the daytime sky
and our noggins wear shoes
nevermore will I trust
a tree frog’s ideas
they chirp and peep and make me feel silly
as I try to dream about tobogganing
and toss and turn with my dachshund
sleeping in the crook of my arm
his very very bad breath waking me up
my cat at my feet sleeping as soundly as only a cat can
half awake, ready to pounce
looking for all the world like a lounging lizard
that hasn't moved in seven years.
yes there are such things
I just read about it on steem
salamanders that do not move
they have what they need
I want to be a salamander
a red one
that beautiful reddish orange
that suddenly appears
even though I have been looking right at it
for an hour or two
like a snake
that is sitting right there
placidly biding its time
until I look down and,
even though we have coexisted very nicely
for the past hour
I SCREAM out loud
I can not help it
and I feel foolish
and I then laugh
so all is not lost
i get to laugh at myself
and wonder how many snakes are
under my porch
“which one of us will get to go
scare the pants off of her today?”
This is my entry to two contests, or challenges.

The first is one I have entered a great many times, @mariannewest's daily freewrite challenge. Today's prompt was virus and you can access it here.

The second contest is a nonsense contest and is hosted by @rycharde. You can find that one here. I have to admit I found the instructions for this contest pretty much incomprehensible, perhaps intentionally, so I don't know if this entry qualifies.

I for one am sick and tired of trying to make sure I qualify for this or that on steem.

This is a first for me. Given that freewriters were recently pretty much attacked by a fellow writer for supposedly posting unreadable piles of doo doo, and given that that post was heavily rewarded by big fancy curators, I decided to post a pile of doo doo of my own in protest. I think I may have also been affected by the deplorable conduct of a certain person at the SOTU last night.

This is the very first time I have published nonsense that is probably not worth the time it takes to read it.

I generated this with themostdangerouswriting app, made very few changes, and I can not figure out how to put a screen shot of that here so you will just have to believe me.

I found it very difficult to keep spouting nonsense, and it was an excellent challenge which I highly recommend.

Image is by @wales, Dean Moriarty. I think @wwwiebe will appreciate it




If anyone can look classy
Spouting poo
That's you :))

This was entertaining, ridiculous and I loved the salamander

Well shiver me timbers. Thanks!
I'm trying to find the salamander post but I can't. Will keep trying because I think you might find it interesting.

Yes!!!!! hahaha I was intriqued by the person's name and then found his (not sure what the person's preferred pronoun is so I mean no offense) entertaining post, as entertaining as the account owner's namesake. Thank you!

He's married to a lovely steemian, @ruth-girl, and they have a wonderful dog.

It's a stupid ugly dog. I hate it.

🐕 😅🐕


I'm so glad I went on this circuitous fortuitous route today. Anyone with a wonderful dog is AOK in my book.


I don't know what that means, but I'll take your word for it 😎😄

OMG the salamander - me too!!!
yes there are such things
I just read about it on steem
salamanders that do not move
they have what they need
I want to be a salamander

This is a 5-minute freewrite? I love all the surprises: the minions have broken toes and
nevermore will I trust
a tree frog’s ideas

OMG that cracks me up - it reminds me in a way of a song I love, Whispering Grass, by The Inkspots,

Why do you whisper, green grass
Why tell the tress what ain't so
Whispering grass, the trees don't have to know, no, no

Your closing lines are fantastic!
how many snakes are
under my porch
“which one of us will get to go
scare the pants off of her today?”

I'm glad you pay no heed to those who say there are no freewrites worth reading.
Their loss - our gain! Thank you for sharing this!

It's really hard to stay the path of nonsense, and those lines make way more sense than I was trying to make! Try it if you haven't. I think themostdangerouswriting app helped me do it. You write, or you die.
I anthropomorphized I see today. I wonder if I'll do that again. Gonna go try soon.

I, for one, am duly impressed because, believe it or not, there is a bit of rhythm/cohesion between topics!

And I was trying not to do that! It was bizarre. And really fun. I love themostdangerouswriting app. Thank you for stopping by! It's always a great pleasure.

Thank you for this funny read. 😄

It was my pleasure!

Thank you Uncle!

It Was entertaining, a bit sketchy in some places (I must check into that app @owasco, is it for Android or PC?)
I'm with you about being tired of trying to qualify for this or that. It (to me) takes my attention away from the creativity.
But that's just me I suppose.

themostdangerouswriting app erases everything you have typed if you stop typing for even a brief second. I use it on my PC. You type, or you die. It's diabolical. It's not for everyone. is a master at using it and he always uses it for freewrites. Check his freewrites out if you haven't already.
I found writing nonsense extremely difficult! I kept dropping into organized thought, and attempts to get out of that just switched over into a related organized thought, even using that app. I highly recommend trying to not make any sense! lol Some of the other freewriters are really good at this, @improv and @kimberlylane come to mind. Somehow, as I am reading their entries they seem to be nonsensical, but when I'm done reading them I have a clear picture in my head. It's very strange.

Check this one out @owasco

When walking through the park, I had an idea
For some “Fanciful Prose”;
If a man has an open mind, he might allow his brain to
Fall out, which would then leave his
Thoughts exposed.
One might think that this would leave him feeling
Temporarily Indisposed,
But then if he were to step through a warp to
Before he had opened his mind, why then he would be
“Temporally” indisposed instead.
So why, you wonder,
Should such a folly I propose?
With my brain fallen out,
It is difficult I find, my thoughts to compose.
I fear
My sense of humor has gotten be best of me…
I suppose.

“Fanciful Prose”
Jerry E Smith

lol. I love this. My brain is awhirl. Great photo too. Was this a steem post?

I HAVE posted it to Steemit before, but it has probably been at least a year or more @owasco.
Should I post it again do you think?

Just sent you dm on discord



That sounds truly evil! I'll have to write a paragraph on it - about it - and on it, I guess.

mmm... that's also like good nonsense writing - in the end the brain makes some kind of collage that makes some sort of sense even from mere random words.

@owasco, I've replied to both your questions and I've tagged you twice in #powerhousecreatives, once in the relay channel or whatever, and once in the General chat channel

OK I see it. I think the problem is your user name on discord does not match your user name on steem, so it's hard for us to find your posts.

My username on discord was assigned to me, I did not choose to drop Jerry from my username.
jerrytsuseer#3994 would have been far easier for me to remember, but now I've been using, have memorized, and have told many people they could find me as tsuseer#3994

I don't understand @owasco why, after I told you, then after I tagged you over and over you could not find me?

It was before you tagged me. I could only find you on discord. If a PHC member tried to find tsuseer on steem, we couldn't. Seems good now

Yeah, with some help from @felt-buzz and others, I changed my "Nick name" so now I'm jerrytsuseer in both places @owasco
Thanks for the help, sorry it was so confusing, but then that seems to be my normal state of being these days

Oh honey we are all lost on this platform. It took me six months to figure out discord. And the six months before that I was figuring out steem. Welcome to PHC. I think you will fit right in.

Thanks... I think?

A good but above all funny one.
!trdo 💕

Posted using Partiko Android

Congratulations @wakeupkitty, you successfuly trended the post shared by @owasco!
@owasco will receive 0.36604913 TRDO & @wakeupkitty will get 0.24403275 TRDO curation in 3 Days from Post Created Date!

"Call TRDO, Your Comment Worth Something!"

To view or trade TRDO go to
Join TRDO Discord Channel or Join TRDO Web Site

nevermore will I trust
a tree frog’s ideas
they chirp and peep and make me feel silly

I will have to remember this chirpy little tree frogs..

Well done with your freewrite!

Thanks! I'm hooked, the good kind.

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

You might want to check my today's post for some even better inspiration 😂😂😂😂

Thanks to your salamander, @owasco, I am now officially smitten with @trumpman. I mentioned your poem to him and his post inspiring the salamdner. He replied:

Damn! I am awesome!
Thanks for letting me know :*


Many thanks! It seems a common comment that writing nonsense is not as easy as it sounds - or looks. The pull of being sensible is resistible. :-)

@owasco you have received 2 SHADE from rycharde!
View and trade the tokens on Steem Engine.

This tip bot is powered by witness untersatz!

Congratulations @owasco, your post successfully recieved 0.36604913 TRDO from below listed TRENDO callers:

@wakeupkitty earned : 0.24403275 TRDO curation

To view or trade TRDO go to
Join TRDO Discord Channel or Join TRDO Web Site