Maybe you can have it all. It sounds like you don’t give yourself enough space and love and when you don’t love yourself, love from another person itches and feels awkward and uncomfortable at some point. Maybe you just aren’t in the right mindset for monogamy and it’s ok to play til you find someone who is riding the same wave you are, and it’s ok to change the relationship when the wave Changes man. No need to be so hard on yourself!
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